...I am a woman with a family to take care
of, two jobs and
missing discipline, guidance and clarity and direction in my life. I do
believe I have better clarity in my life at this time...will I go back to
Michelle..yes, without a doubt!
...If I had to sum it up in one sentence,
I have better clarity in my life right now. Things that, for lack of a better
word, keep me blocked for weeks, months, years from getting them done have been
a lot easier. Usually, I can rationalize anything and keep myself from
doing what I need to do. I thought that the physical aspect of the
spanking would be the main inhibition from getting back into the old rut I was
in. While, it's not something I will soon forget, I think the things we talked
about before and after were the things that really helped me.
I just wanted to
thank you again for a very fulfilling spanking session. It was good to
have a nice chat before getting to 'business'. And the
'business' was quite something! I have never been spanked so hard before.
It was very intense and took my mind off everything else in the world. I
am still surprised at how hard you can spank without hurting your own
hands. It's just amazing. The redness and soreness in my bottom
were souvenirs which helped me remember a great session long afterwards.
I am looking forward to the next time I get up to Flint for another session.
I wanted to get back to you sooner but this is
the first chance I’ve had to respond. I was quite nervous leading up to the
session since it was my first real life adult spanking but you made me feel
completely at ease once I arrived. Thank you for that. You are such a kind
person and very easy to talk to. I was also really nervous about how the
spanking itself would go. I’ve wanted to be spanked for such a long time and as
a spanko yourself, I’m sure you know how much you can think about it. Well I
started to worry about what if after years of dreaming of being spanked, I
didn’t like the experience? What if it didn’t measure up to all of my
expectations? That could be rough to take considering all the emotional
commitment I have to spanking. Well, the session was wonderful. It exceeded my
expectations 10 times over and it was a relief to know that after the spanking,
I would still want to be spanked again. In fact once I got to the office,
despite my sore bottom, that’s all I could think about. I had a meeting when I
got back but I could hardly focus. I kept thinking about you spanking me.
Now the spanking itself was quite a surprise.
I definitely did not expect it to hurt so much. Even your hand over my jeans
hurt. But when you pulled down my jeans and underwear and began spanking my
bare bottom, I was in a little shock at how much it hurt. At first I really
wanted you to stop but I’m glad you didn’t. I truly needed a real life spanking,
and you certainly know how to give one. And once the shock wore off of how much
you can sting my bum with just your hand, then came the belt. OOWWWW!!! I was
definitely not expecting that to hurt as much as it did. But again, I’m
learning to accept that as part of the real spanking. The experience has
created an odd duality for me. On the one hand I really would like to be
spanked by you again when I need it. On the other hand, I fear that same
spanking. I suppose this is exactly the way it should be.
The thing that surprised me most about the
session however was how much I liked your comforting gestures immediately after
the spanking, hugging me, stroking my hair, and rubbing my sore bottom as I
laid on the bed. I was not expecting to feel this way. This is not something I
had ever thought about with spanking. This might be because most of the
spankings I witnessed were punishment spankings where my aunt was reacting to
something (back talk, disobeying, breaking something). Once the spanking was
over, Aunt Karen would just send my cousin(s) to their room. I never witnessed
any hugging after the spankings. Now as I mentioned, my aunt did give
disciplinary spankings where she’d send my cousins to their rooms to wait for
her, sometimes after being told to get the belt or ‘the stick’ which she kept
hanging on a hook at the top of the basement stairs (I think I mentioned this).
These ‘disciplinary’ spankings seemed to be for offenses that were committed
earlier. For example, my cousin Thomas once received this type of
‘disciplinary’ spanking for a really bad report card. Now, since these
spankings always occurred behind a closed door, I don’t know if my aunt did
provide some comforting gestures afterwards or not. Consequently it’s not
something I ever thought about much when thinking about spanking. But it did
feel good, and enabled me to calm down after the spanking.
I’m very much in need of the kind of
domestic discipline you can deliver. Your ability to deliver a serious, real
spanking that really hurts yet immediately afterwards become so comforting is
such a wonderful gift. It’s a new type of spanking experience I hadn’t fully
considered but enjoyed tremendously.
I’m sorry for the long reply but if you
haven’t already noticed, I’m a talker. Anyway, thank you again Michelle. You
giving me my first real spanking was a truly wonderful experience. I’ll think
about it often and long for the next time. I wish we lived closer together.
I don't know how to begin to express
what is going on inside me right now. For the last few weeks I have been a
mess. I know you already know that. I wanted and needed to see you just to have
the hug that I knew you would give me. I also dreaded going to see you. I
thought that you were really mad and disappointed. I didn't care or
worry about the spanking, I knew that you were in control of it and my actions
were the cause of it. I just didn't want to face you with all we went through
in the last weeks. But I also was in need of it all to be worked
out. I knew you would forgive me. I know I can do better.
I didn't expect to have to take so much. I
thought it was normal to fall back into old habits and that is why we all come
to see you. I guess I was wrong. I knew it was going to hurt, it should, but
omg! Right from the first spank, I was shocked. I cannot believe a wooden spoon
could hurt so bad. I kept thinking about the pain. I couldn't stand it and you
kept paddling away and I tried to get up but you were too strong. I tried
to stop you with my hand and you smacked my hand. I felt safe but felt like you
were not backing down. It was weird though, because as soon as I gave up and
accepted it thinking "I should have listened", without the excuses or
trying to get out of it, you stopped. I was sure it was over until I was over
the couch. That hurt so bad that I couldn't think a thing, only listen and try
not to run away. The cane scared me so bad and hurt too. This too was odd in
the way that when my mind finally got to the point where I was thinking
"I'm so sorry, I am so sorry, I will do better" you stopped. I
was glad you gave me a hug first. I really tried to stay there. It hurt so bad.
It was my first spanking for blood sugar stuff. I think I bit off a big
bite, thinking 2 times a day was a goal for now, on the other hand I
need to obey and never want a cane again. And the health stuff is
The reason I write
this is because I think you should know what went on in my head. I hated
that you made me lay down and rest after but I needed it. I needed to relax and
stop for a few seconds. How did you know when to stop? how did you know I
needed to rest after? I didn't know that. talking after was good. I needed to
reconnect and see forgiveness in your eyes. I did. You are the best Michelle. I
want to thank you for not stopping when I was not ready. You have a gift. That
was not the part I wanted to share mostly though. I wanted you to know that
through the pain of every bump along the way, I felt a calm I have never felt.
I was at peace. All my stress was gone. I could have slept. I felt like I was
on a calming drug. My racing thoughts were gone. No worry either. And the
amazing thing is that I am still feeling calm. I am relaxed.
My bottom is really
bruised and welted and it hurts still, but I am so grateful that it dulls the
pain. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I will be on time. I checked my sugar
today twice and last night too. I am not going to be disrespectful to anyone.
Even by what I say. Thank you so much. how could I ever pay you back? You gave
me so much.
I always look forward to
our getting together
- it's a great time to talk about things I may or may not feel comfortable
talking to others about. So far, it's a guarantee that whatever issues are on
the table are no longer going to be there when it's all said and done..haha. I
guess a third time is a charm realizing that I'm not going to be able to
finagle my way out of the consequences of the issue at hand. I don't know why I
do it , I guess I've successfully done it my entire life - although since we've
starting meeting, I have come to discover that without the consequence and
forgiveness there isn't true healing. You won't see me blowing off issues that
I needed to be working on all along anymore - and I am sorry I caused you to
have to be severe to get the message across. Your saying you are disappointed
in me can sting almost worse than that strap thingy. It may be a little early
to call in the jury, but I've not touched my cellphone, iTouch, or computer in
the car since our meeting.
Oh gosh, I did do some pouting,
didn't I? And
although it wasn't exactly a waterfall, I did manage to let my emotions flow
without trying to stop and hide it. I never knew that crying could be
a great stress relief. It puzzles me why it was so frowned upon growing up. Although
I probably have a long way to go in that department, it's at least a start - I
can start working on not hiding behind a laugh and a smile. It's not always
been a bad thing, and it's gotten me through some difficult things - but it's
nice to feel that it's okay to cry.
I meant to write you earlier in the day in
response to your email about the guy telling you that you were an
"amateur" because you didn't have any videos. He was so wrong. In my
opinion, your profile says it all (so does your picture) about what it is that
you are about and the care and mentoring that you provide. I don't need to see
any videos to get that. I think by NOT having videos or images of the
spankings, you seperate yourself from the other sites or services that are out
there...and believe me, I've looked. You are a unique person with a genuine
care giving quality that is extremely rare. I hate to keep repeating myself but
you have changed my life in the most positive way...and in record time. Who
would have thought that after only meeting you two times, you would have such
an impact on me and how I perceive myself? I thank you and I think everyone
around me will benefit from it also. You mean the world to me and I will
not forget it. I know what you do, with traveling and all, can't be easy some
I just wanted to say I wish I could
come back for a second round tomorrow! I really loved talking with you
and also the hugs, specially the hug right after where my pants were still down
and you had me knee next to the bed. I am soar and will have bruises for
a week or so but I would go over your lap again right now if I could.
wow... OR should i say OWWWWWWWW!!..
just staring at my red butt in AWE!.. What a great experience Michelle,
you are truly one of a kind. Spanking or not you are a very special and unique
person. I dont say that lightly, in the short time we spent together you
made a very profound mark on me(not just my bottom:)))))))))))))*********
you'll be fresh on my brain for a LONNNNNG time!..And thats a good thing!
lololol. I Really hope to see you again.
have to say that it took me a while until that whole experience sank in and I
fully realised that meeting you was actually one of defining moments of my
life. You might think that I am exaggerating but it’s true.. I have been
looking for person like you for many years and at the time it was quite
frustrating but eventually I have managed to find you and it has proved two
things to me. There are more people like me (I really like that one) and the
other thing is that I can achieve whatever I want if I put enough effort and
time into it. And I believe that above knowledge will influence me in a good
way in the future if it hasn’t already…
you are such a nice person that I would like to keep in touch with
you even if you were no disciplinarian so you can imagine how happy I am that
you actually are :o) You are very natural extremely perceptive and easy to talk
to you made me feel very comfortable from the first moment we met. The fact
that you are also very motherly person (I really felt that) makes me trust you
and I am very happy that you are keen to keep in touch and effectively also
mentor me. If it is OK with you I will make another trips to America next year
to meet you in person. I really liked to talk to you and even though the
spanking was hard (as it should be) the overall experience was very fulfilling
which actually proves that I need it.
I want to express my appreciation for the
coaching and discipline
you provided me with this week. The way you
have forgiven me and nurtured me to
wellness will be remembered always. Your
excellent listening style,kind and
caring manner,are truly extraordinary......I
hope that we can meet on a regular
I would like you to be my coach and disciplinarian. The feelings of
safety and protection enveloped me so
completely as we talked. Thank you for
firmly disciplining me. I feel at peace with
myself and those around me. I am
very optimistic about my future. It's great
to be understood.
All I can say is "OH MY". I, along
with him underestimated your ability to be very strict. I could not have been
happier with his bottom, but it is the person that came home that impressed me
the most. He walked in to the house went right over to me and apologized for
his immature behavior, and vowed to become a better husband and father.
As I told you, I have been spanking him for years, but, I have never been
able to punish him as you did to day. I know you must think I am some kind of
monster, believe me I am not. I am so greatful to you. Even if it is until his
hiney is healed, which will be a good week, that is more peace than I have
head in years. He is upstairs working on his contract, and he wants to talk to
the kids tonight after dinner. He was shaken to the core, believe me.
I thank you from the bottom of
heart, not just for the beating, but for the wonderful influence you have
bestowed on my husband and our family. It will be a long road, hw
vows never to get a beating like that again, the odds are he will be over
your knee like last time, but that will hopefully be a good thing. I
truly hope you enjoy your evening, I will mine, solely because of you.